Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Overreacting

I have a problem with overreacting.
There, I said it.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm female, more hormonal lately, or because I hate feeling like I am not in control...but the past two weeks have been a little rough.

  • It started with pay day. I always pay our bills the same day we get paid. Which I'm not sure is the best idea because I go from thinking "Yay! We got paid! We have money again!" to "Oh my goodness...we better cut some corners otherwise we aren't going to make it to the next paycheck! Jared! You better not spend any money!" A huge emotional swing.
  • Then I flipped to working the night shift (11 PM-7 AM)
  • I got my period, and I haven't gotten acupuncture (which has really been helping me) for a while...so needless to say I was a mess.
  • I had to work an extra hour on Sunday due to daylight savings.
  • I bawled my eyes out when I shared a link on facebook to a necklace that I love/want, and someone I went to high school with, who I'm 99% certain is a atheist, then shared a link to a website that gives a scientific reason why mountains move...my heart broke for him.
  • Jared wants to move to North Dakota.
  • I went to bible study and felt like God was speaking to me in regards to the conflict Jared and I have about moving to North Dakota- and I'm just going to be honest, it's been tough. The words sacrifice and compromise are not always easy to swallow, and I cried a lot.
Looking back on the past two weeks...I feel so ridiculous.
  • God has provided us with more than we will ever need. Not only do we have money left in bank with just a few days left before our next payday, but I got a check in the mail for an amount that made me smile only a few days after I got distressed about our financial situation.
  • I have a job. Work has been slow, and I only have one shift left before I flip back to days- I am thankful for all of that.
  • It's my own fault my period sucked this past month. I haven't followed-up with the acupuncturist like I should have. Now I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow.
  • I don't have kids, so I probably get more sleep than most people!
  • I've been praying for God to use me to spread the great message of His love, mercy, grace, and power- and He is!
  • Jared and I won't even consider moving to North Dakota until he is done with school, and we've regained some of the value back in our house...so I have at least two years before we even discuss the issue seriously. Lots could happen before then...and there is a equal likelihood that we'll end up staying in Minnesota. Instead of getting worked up about what might happen sometime in the distant future, I need to be thankful for the work God is doing on my heart. I'm due for my reminder that He is the one in control, and it would be silly for me to fight Him on that. God is obviously calling me to keep a more open mind, and a more open heart...so I am going to work on that, in all aspects of my life. Even if I don't like what He is trying to tell me.
That was a lot, but I think God is renewing my spirit today. I am only human, so I thought I would share my struggles just in case anyone else out there is in the same place I am.

I think my next post will be about food, LOL...something really delicious and terribly unhealthy.

1 comments:

Bethany said...

Praying for His light to shine down on you and Jared!